It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It’s hard to believe the holidays are upon us. With Christmas only 4 days away and the New Year just around the corner, I must admit I catch myself wondering ”where has the time gone?” Even my 9 and 11 year old have asked if I had noticed that the weeks were going by so quickly!


For me, simply the thought of what goes on in these last two months has me feeling exhausted and anxious. There are parities with the family, get-together’s with friends, winter parties at school (I guess they don’t want to offend anyone by saying holiday or Christmas), and work luncheons and dinners. Maybe even a neighborhood party, although we have yet to be invited to one of them, but I do know of others who attend them in their own neighborhoods! There’s shopping and baking, eating…

and more eating, parades and shows, decorations and lights, and then throw in some snow…just to add a touch of excitement!

And boy do the people start coming out of the woodwork. You know how it is, your fathers second cousins bothers’ wife’s mother-in-law’s…sister, is hosting a party on Sunday and would really love to see you and the kids!!!! Ok, not really, but there are times that when I feel so stretched that it actually feels a little like that!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

It’s an extremely busy time of year.

Many feel it is full of hype, stress, and expectation.

And there’s also large number of folks who suffer depression through the holidays. Perhaps it’s the memories of a loved one who has passed or a divorce that has the kids away this year, maybe times are hard and you just don’t have the money to pull it off. I have heard more than once “I would love to just get out of town and skip the entire season”.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

It’s a magical time of year.

For many it is filled with wonderful memories, anticipation, and child-like excitement.

And there’s also a large number of folks who are extremely generous through the holidays, going above and beyond to help those in need, donating money and volunteering time to a favorite charity or organization. There are even people out there who wish it could be Christmas all year round…I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

The truth is that both sides are reality. So how do we make it though this time of year with the bottom being our focus (ha-ha, I mean the second part of what I have written, not literally our bottoms…although that is something we do need to be cautious of!)

It’s Balance

It may be a bit more challenging through the holidays and there's a good chance that others may criticize your decisions, possibly even those closest to us. After all, each of us has an expectation of what we think the season should be like, who we should spend our time with, and how we should be spending our time. We know what’s important us and we would love for everyone to be on board with it. And if life were like a TV program, it would all work out perfectly!

But it’s not!

I know my experience is not too different from others…my parents are divorced, my husband’s parents are divorced, and of our combined 8 siblings 4 come from divorced families, and there is one who is also divorced. We’ve got a lot to work with!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

The best gift we can offer is simply being present. Showing up and enjoying the moment, spending quality time with those we love and care for most. When we make this our priority, the other stuff just doesn’t seem that important any more. When it comes to our family celebrations it’s not about that one particular day, but rather a focus on being together.

How freeing it is to know that you can sit back, relax, and be in tune to what’s going on around you, knowing there’s nowhere else that you need to be.

So when you catch yourself feeling a bit stressed, placing expectations that don’t need to be there, or worrying about things that are out of your control. Shrug your shoulders, put a smile on your face, and sing out loud ‘til your convinced…

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

fyi...you can do this year round!

Today is a Great Day!

I have this routine that I do each morning as I drive to work. It’s a habit I started years ago and it helps to get me “geared-up” and I also do it to start my day on a positive note.


I focus on my intentions for the day and how I can best prepare myself for the full work schedule I’m about to tackle. It’s been a very useful tool, keeping me focused on the excitement I have for my clients and my job, it helps me to feel more energized and motivated, and it also assists with getting the creative juices flowing.

What am I doing?

I have a mantra that I repeat to myself each day. I’m sure I look like a crazy woman talking to myself as I’m driving down the road…boy if they only knew! But it is so important that I talk out loud because it helps me to be aware of exactly the message that I am telling myself…

"Today is going to be a great day. God’s blessings are chasing me down and over taking me. I will have success in everything I do. I have a schedule full of clients that I love to be with and they love to be with me. Today I will communicate clearly so I am aware of the needs of each of my clients and I will use my expertise and creativity to best provide them with a great and achievable style (I am a hair dresser for those who might not know). I will do my best to not participate in gossip and to not judge myself when I make mistakes."

But what I have found by doing this for some time now is that I truly believed that I was giving myself a great message, but in reality, parts of my message are more focused on what it is that I don’t want, or my message is leaving things to chance, rather than me being responsible for making it happen.

Today’s going to be a great day…

Really, then what are you waiting for? I realized I was saying this to myself and I had already been awake for four hours. Why didn’t I decide right when I woke up that indeed today is a great day! I have a choice, am I committed to having a great day or will I wait to see how all the circumstances play out before I make that decision?

I will not participate in gossip…

This sounds VERY difficult to me, but if I were to say, “I will speak kindly of others and acknowledge the good intentions they have.  Or, today I will be open and accepting of those around me”. These statements are positive and they clearly state what my intentions are. They will make others feel good about themselves in turn make me feel proud of the choices I am making.

I will not judge myself…

Yeah right, and I know I’m not alone in this boat! We are our own biggest critics. We expect and demand so much from ourselves. But with (a lot!) of practice, we can even turn this one around. I started playing around with messages like, “Today I will be open to leaning from the choices and decisions that I make. Everything that I do today provides me with important information so that I can be better tomorrow. Today I will be my best. I am excited about all the opportunities that today will provide.”

What a difference these statements make. When I slightly change them and focus on what I want, they become empowering. They make me feel excited…I can’t wait to get each day started. I am excited about my life, I have a great family that I love to be with and they accept me even with all my quirks! I am excited to get to work, I get to hang out with my clients and have fun. I am excited that I am surrounded by so many people who are there to support me.

TODAY IS A GREAT DAY!

Abby's been thinking...

Do these glasses make me look smart?

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.  ~Author Unknown

This is Abby and she’s our two year old Golden Retriever. We love her to pieces and I don’t hesitate to admit that she’s a bit spoiled by everone in this family. But in this house being spoiled comes with a price tag…she has to tolerate the kids! Actually, she’s very patient and laid back and just goes with the flow. When I watch her I am amazed and bewildered that she somehow seems to fit right in as one of “the kids”!

This is our first experience as a family beginning at the puppy stage, and I never knew it could be so entertaining.  Only days after we got her she got her tongue stuck to the frozen fence...and we didn’t even have to triple-dog-dare her! And she has always been a very generous dog, eager to bring us presents that she gathers from around the house-underwear, socks, a tooth bush, pantyhose, bra, stuffed animals, bracelets, toilet paper tubes, stockings, rubber bands, boots, toys, ornaments off the X-mas tree-really anything that fits, and as much as she can fit in!

She also has quite the appetite,eating more than her fair share of logs, branches, leaves, rocks, concrete, bees, and butterflies. She has also eaten knock-out roses (2), crepe myrtles (5), a small cherry tree and Japanese maple, each down to the ground.

But this is a dog that has her priorities straight.  Abby doesn't miss out on a chance to do what she loves most. Whether it's going for a dip in the pool, playing  football with the boys, catching some Frisbee, and you can never go wrong with a good round of tug-of-war, but her most favorite would be playing with her soccer ball.





Now this is the life!

The beloved soccer ball!

I got this one!



When we take walks she pulls like crazy while on her leash, but without it you can barely walk without tripping because she stays so close. And there's a rumor going around that she has pulled the socks right off my sons feet one night while he was sleeping...I certainly wouldn't put it past her! She loves to put her paw up to have you scratch the top and  bottom, and if you’ll just pet her when you come over to visit she is putty in your hands, literally, her eyes roll back and she melts down onto her back!



Oh, and Abby loves to get good and comfy, for some reason she has taken to sleeping on the steps and has nothing against cuddling up with a good….

And just for the record, Abby is not the only goofy dog that we’ve had.  When Rob and I were young we had a Siberian husky named Jaws but goofy is not the best fit for her.  The more appropriate word would be CRAZY!  She was wild and crazy and loved to run, and run, and run, and run. Just what you would expect of a husky, right? Not me, I was totally unaware she’d be like that, I just wanted her because she was so adorable and fluffy!



That dog would bolt on any given opportunity. But we had a trick up our sleeves, at the time Rob and I both smoked, so we would take the cellophane off our packs and crumble it up. She thought it was the treat bag and would come running...she fell for it every time! 

And this dog was like Houdini, she could escape from anywhere. At one time we had a fenced yard, an electric fence, and she was also on a wire cord.  Some how she still managed to get out. Once she made it over the fence but had to hang out in the neighbors’ bushes until we realized she was there…at least the leash kept her from running away that time.

She was hit by a car 3 times- one not serious, one somewhat bad, and one pretty serious.

We got a ticket once because she would get loose and go after ducks that a couple had been raising for their grandchildren. One time she even carried a duck back to our house, and another time we had to pay vet bills for one that she injured. This was one of her favorite places to visit at the time.

She was stolen from our backyard once and we think our landlord set it up, I still haven’t figured out why they would want to do that!

And boy was that dog fast, she could catch birds and squirrels and would stand her ground to any intruding raccoons and possums. We would try to get her inside, but she'd never come 'til she knew she had things taken care of.

If you were sitting on a couch she could jump over the couch…and you, really!

She also had this grass phobia and would stand on the edge of the driveway and just hang over when she needed to go to the bathroom, she even choose to go right on the driveway sometimes.  And she would lay on that driveway whether it was a blasting 100 degrees or pouring down rain outside. She especially loved to stay out during the winter, she would curl up in a ball and we would enjoy measuring the snow that would build-up on her. She never wanted to come in, we even left the doors open to the garage, but she never bothered. This one time it was raining so hard, and of course she was laying in the middle of the driveway, so I opened the door and yelled out “what are you doing stupid”, and no lie, my husband comes walking out of the garage looking guilty...he thought he was busted for sneaking cigarettes!  He had quit for about a year I think!

Jaws was pretty old by the time we had the kids, but they sure loved her.  Putting her down was one of the saddest experiences in my life. As an adult it was the first time I had experienced death. I don’t know what I expected, but I remember sitting there thinking, oh my god, just a second ago she was alive, and now she's gone...just like that.  We drove away only having our memories of her.

Our pets play such an important role in our lives.  We love and value them as "part of the family".  We celebrate their birthdays, give them presents during the holidays, let them out to play with their buddies, take them for a spin in the car, and we even find places where we can vacation with them.  Heck, there are a lot of people who would choose their pet over any human!

We love to tell our pet stories, I love to tell my pet stories!   And I have no doubt that for ever story that I have just told, you could match with some great "tails" about your pets!  My intention was to make a short, cute little post about how great our pets are and why I believe dogs have the deal figured out, but once I got started, I just couldn't stop!  So here it is, simply put: 

• Dogs love us no matter what, and don't hold grudges.
• They take advantage of any opportunity to spend time with the family.
• Dogs know the imortantance of spending time out doors.
• They love to play and have fun...and also know how to enterain themselves.
• Dogs want to be friends with everyone!
• They accept us no matter our faults and imperfections.



We still have a ways to go if we want to catch up to them, but I know they will continue to teach us even when we go astray!

P.S.  Unfortunately I didn't have any pictures of Jaws readily available to post, back in the day we had to use camera's with film!









Kicking "busy" to the curb

“Hey Julie, do you want to meet for lunch?
I’d really love to, but work is so busy. I just can’t get away right now.”

“Hey Mom, can you come outside and play with us? 
Not right now, I’m busy. I’ve got all this stuff I have to get done.”

“I hope the family can make it to the party this weekend. 
I’m so sorry, the kids have games and there are projects around the house that need attention. We’re just too busy right now, but let’s schedule something when things slow down”

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is there something in your life that dominates the majority or your time?

Over the past couple of years I have been trying to take the “busy” out of my schedule. At first, I really didn’t think it was possible, believing that everything I did was necessary. But what I found was that being busy is a choice, and a lot of what I was busy with really didn’t serve me.

I think it is important for us to recognize the reasons that we are busy if we really want to slow down and start getting to what’s most important, to become responsible for the quality of our life (another choice). The reality is that a good portion of what we do is necessary, it enables us to be available and to provide for our families, but on the other hand, a lot of what we do is just  “time-fillers” and nonsense.

When we are so busy, it’s a clear sign that we are out of balance. So, just what is it that keeps us so busy? This list may provide some insights or even a new perspective on busy, you may even find that keeping busy may be something more than just work, family, and the normal run-arounds.

Our jobs demand a lot from us. It seems with the drop in the economy employers are making cuts, downsizing, and merging positions together. Our already demanding jobs seem to be getting increasingly…more demanding. Creating balance in this situation may take some creative strategizing. Is it possible to delegate some of your work load or could you go in an hour earlier so you can get home an hour earlier? Perhaps it’s time to update your resume and put some feelers out. And you never know, after investigating what’s available, you may find that right where you are isn’t so bad after all!

We don’t know how to say NO. Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? Do you over volunteer yourself? Are there so many things that excite you, and you take them on all at once. I once read “say no to the good, so you can say yes to the great”. Wow, what a powerful statement. And let’s not forget, when we say yes when we real want to say no, it is a sure way to set ourselves up for burn-out, to become angry and resentful, and could lead to us avoiding friends or family because of it. We may even blame them, when all along it was out inability to say no that got us there in the first place

Is it an excuse? Is there something you really don’t want to do, but you don’t have the courage to say no, so you claim “I’m busy”. At the time it may appear that being busy is an easy way out…but only until the offer presents itself again! Be honest, communicate what you need. Maybe it’s more important to stay home on Sunday to spend time with your family…who wouldn’t respect that!

We are avoiding something.Things aren’t going so good at home, so you work extra hours just to stay away longer. There is something you are hiding from your family or friends so you stay busy so they won’t find out what it is. You may think others aren’t aware…but most often they know that something’s up.

The truth is, at times I can be quite the master of busy, so this list could go on forever if I’d let it! But what I’ve realized is the more I practice and the more I remind myself of my commitment to slow down, the more I have time to do what’s most important to me. My husband has even said that he is jealous of my ability to “do nothing” sometimes…there may have been some underlying message in there, but I chose not to pick up on it!!

What can we do to start making changes?

First start by being honest with yourself, make a list of all your daily activities, and then question why you do them. Again, some are absolutely necessary, but what are the ones that aren’t? This would be a great time to do some journaling and reflect on what changes you would like to make.

And then replace busy for balance.

You could start by looking at 3 or 4 of the most important areas in your life and determine how much of your time you are currently devoting to each. Then start tweaking. If an area has been neglected- schedule something in. But the key here is not just adding into your already busy schedule, but to also find area’s where you need to make some cuts. Nothing is set in stone. You can always try something new if it’s not working out the way you planned.

And just remember how easy it is to fall back into old, comfortable habits, even when they're not what we want. This will take commitment, it may even feel like you are making sacrifices.  And your old ways may be tempting because they are the easier choice at first, but be patient with yourself and do the best you can. I promise, if this is important, you will be greatly rewarded!

Who needs our attention right now, but may feel as if we have turned our backs on them because we are too busy? How many great opportunities have gone unnoticed because we didn’t have the time to slow down and take notice?

In the end, would you rather be remembered for all the tasks you have completed, or the quality of life you lived and the relationships that you’ve developed?

Setting the Record Straight

I’d like to set the record straight before we get too committed in this deal.

Not every blog I write will prove to be an inspirational masterpiece overflowing with words of the utmost importance. Could it be expected that every post would be filled with sentence after sentence of imaginative ideas and reflective insights that will inevitably result in a profound impact, possibly altering the course of life as you know it from this day forward…or at least until you get up from your computer! My ego would love to believe this is not true, but reality does tell a different tale!

These are the reasons I write. First, for me.  To prioritize and stay focused on what’s most important in my life, to help bring clarity to the thoughts that circle around in my head, and to work through some of the challenges I face in my days. Second, I write because I’m suppose to, and I know this is true because I enjoy it! And third, I write because I want to make a difference in this world and this is one of the ways that I can do it.

And why I am telling you this? Well, because I am really, really, really stepping out of my comfort zone by sharing with others that I write this blog.  It would stand to reason that if I am taking the time to write this, that I would hope to have people actually reading it!  Although that makes total sense, that's not the way it was working for me.  I was too chicken to tell people for fear of what they might think.

So this is what I want you to know for today, and tomorrow, and the next day:

1. I am taking myself off the hook. Sheeww, I feel better already! There is nothing I need to do other than be myself.

2. You can take yourself off the hook. Sometimes my posts won’t resonate, and that’s ok! We are all the same, but yet so incomparably and sometimes so complicatedly different. I just really appreciate that you’re supporting me and continue to check back in (or you could do it the easy way by subscribing…please!)

3. YOU are the only person who has your answers. Beware of trying to make someone’s answers fit for your own. Beware when someone is trying to convince you that they have your answers. We may have our own ideas, we may have our own insights, and we may indeed be a trusted resource, but we don’t hold your answers! Trust yourself, the answers are always there. They may not always be obvious at first, they may not be the ones you want, and sometimes they may be very difficult to make, but they are always within you.

4. It's important to have healthy outlets. Not only is it is a nasty trap to keep everything bottled up inside ourselves, but the stress, anxiety, and depression that accompany could prove to be potentially dangerous to your health and well-being. Get outside and take a walk-enjoy the scenery, breathe the fresh air, soak up some sunshine-it’s free and it’s the best! Keep a journal close by so you can jot down thoughts, feelings, or great idea’s you may have throughout the day. You could throw football with your kids or play some corn-hole with your neighbors. Take advantage of the opportunity to experiment and try something new!

5. We all possess the ability to make a difference in this world. What do you love, where does your passion lie, how can you start using your gifts to impact others? Just take one step and see where it leads, if you like it-take another, if you don’t-take it off your list and move on to the next.

6. Step out of your comfort zone…Yikes! It does take courage, it does involve risk, and it will most likely feel uncomfortable. But you know how it works, once you do something a few times it gets easier! Practice with someone that you trust and then start branching out.  And don't overlook being proud of yourelf and celebrating the steps you’ve taken.  All too often we skip over this because we don't want to look too full-of ouselves.  You're smart, you know the difference between the two!

That’s the jist of why I’m here, what about you?

Forget about calling it Politics

Have you ever been told not to talk politics? Do you know someone who keeps their political views and opinions to themselves because those are “private” matters? Do you ever argue with someone simply because they are for the opposing party?
When I think of politics it can feel overwhelming, even at times just a little too big to grasp. It’s confusing and can be very frustrating, leaving me with the feeling that it is out of my hands.

Well, I have an idea.

What if we were to stop calling it politics?

What if we were to take away that bigness of the word politics, and make it simple? What if we saw it as…

The ideas and opinions that we generate, the decisions that we make, and then the course of action we choose to take.

This feels more real to me, sounds a little more like “Life”.

So what has us sometimes unwilling to share our thoughts and ideas regarding what we believe to be important in life? I’ve jotted down some idea’s, you might have some others you can mentally add to this list.

We feel hopeless. It feels too big, so why even bother? What difference can one person ever make?

We avoid conflict. Maybe for some politics and arguing go hand and hand and the energy it takes to fight, just isn’t worth it.

We are Closed-off. Do we open ourselves to hearing what others have to say, or do we dismiss their views because they don’t align with ours? Maybe we are a little too stubborn, tightly holding our beliefs with no desire to “loosen-up” and expand our minds to the possibilities that are out there.

Fear. Maybe we are afraid that we might be criticized and judged for our opinions, or fear we might offend someone. Or maybe you’re like me, I am afraid to give my opinion sometimes because what if in return I am asked a question that I might not be able to answer intelligently?

With all that being said, wouldn’t It stand to reason that in a country of over 310,000,000 people, there are going to be a few out there who disagree with you? Absolutely there are! So why are we so invested in judging, criticizing, and arguing with each other, when we would all be better served respecting and honoring the unique individuals that we are. And we could even take it a step further by not only allowing others to have their voice, but also having a genuine interest in what they are saying!

So this inspired me to write a new bill, one that gives us the ability to reclaim personal responsibility for ourselves.

The Bill of Birth-Rights

by:  Julie Hogan

Free will. I was born with a brain. I alone am responsible for the thoughts I have, the choices that I make, and the actions that I take.

Freedom of Speech. I was born with a voice. I am the only one responsible for the words that come out of my mouth. How do others hear me? Are my words filled with poison, or are they full of acceptance, hope, and the encouragement that we all so desperately need?

The Freedom to Love. I was born with a heart. Do I offer kindness and compassion to those around me? Do I take in to regards how my decisions affect others, not just what’s good for me? Do I lend a helping hand when it’s needed, choosing not to judge the reason why it is needed?

The freedom to get out there and make a difference in this world. I was born with a body. We are meant to be present in this world, we are meant to get out and serve. For most organizations that are serving others in need, having a body there is just as imperative as the donations they receive. Also, do I nourish my body with the food, exercise, and rest that are necessary to keep me energized? Am I doing what it takes to stay healthy so I can enjoy life for as long as possible and continue showing-up?

Imagine how different our world will be once we all claim responsibility for our birth rights (which is really my way of saying blessings…I just wanted to make sure I was being politically correct!)



The Morning Moon

A beautiful day was waiting on me, all I had to do was walk out the door.

Julie Hogan

My son likes to watch Arthur (a kids cartoon) while he eats his breakfast.  On this morning it so happened they were writing poems, I thought it sounded fun, so I decided I would write one as well.  I sat down and
jotted a few lines, but then needed to continue with the morning routine.

As we walked out the front door I was instantly awe-struck by the sky...

the color, the clouds, the moon, and how the bare trees made the scene appear even more mysterious.  I ran back inside to get my camera, not letting today be another one of those days..."if I just had my camera, what a great shot that would be".

I took some really beautiful pictures, and decided to finish the poem that I started.  I have to admit that it feels a little corny, not having much memory of writing anything other than "roses are red" poems.  But oh well, here's my first attempt at something new!

Today, today

I simply must choose,

Love, respect, forgiveness and joy
Anything else, I thoughtfully refuse.

Today is the day

Tomorrow is much too late,

For gratitude and kindness

Remembering, I am responsible for what I create.

Today, today

Will I open my heart,

To the miracles and blessings

Which have been there from the start?

Today is the perfect day

On tomorrow, I won’t take that chance,

Now is the time to offer my gifts

For this world, I’m meant to enhance!

Another Kind of Hoarding

Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.

-- Sylvia Robinson








Have you ever known someone who saves all their stuff because they “might need it someday”? Maybe it’s an innocent case of holding on to clothing in the hopes of one day fitting again. Or the person who smoothes out every piece of used wrapping paper, refolds every sheet of tissue paper, and holds on to every gift bag so it can be reused someday (guilty!). Then there are the severe cases, a self-destructive way of living where the person becomes incapable of letting go of anything, even throwing out the trash would be a devastating loss. It is a disorder that is very confusing and difficult to understand.

What I am here to talk about today is another type of hoarding. This one doesn’t have its own reality show (yet), but it’s equally confusing and just as difficult to understand why we do it.

The good news is you don’t need a doctor to make a diagnosis, and actually, this is one of those times it’s safe to go ahead and self-diagnose.

What I am referring to is Internal Hoarding. It is the hoarding of our natural gifts and talents, hoarding our specialized knowledge and insights.  It is holding on to ideas or information that could assist others. Are we hiding our inner most dreams and stashing-away our hopes and desires.  Or is it that we are holding on to a false self-image or belief, never bothering to question its truth?

Maybe you’re in a position at work were you could take someone under your wing and help grow their success, but feel too threatened to do it? Are you a closet artist, the kind that keeps all your art work behind closed doors, fearing what others may think? Do you quietly sit back keeping your opinions to yourself, only to feel disappointed that you didn’t have the courage to have your voice? Have you always had a strong feeling of what you should be doing, but continue to ignore it?

Sometimes our grasp is so tightly wrapped around what is ours...believing that it is only meant for us.

What keeps us from sharing what’s ours?

What If I were to help someone else, they might beat me out of an opportunity or look better than me. What if someone was to criticize my artwork, I would take it so personal, after all the work is a part of me. My dreams are just too far-fetched, there’s no way it’ll ever happen to me. I don’t think I’m as smart as everyone else, so I keep my opinions and ideas to myself.

What are you holding onto right now that could really help someone out? It’s time to share our dreams with someone who will encourage and assist us on our journey, or expose that side of ourselves that just might surprise others?

"Someday" is today!  There's no better time to start cleaning the piles!

Decisions, decisions...

If big decisions are difficult to make, would we assume that the little ones are easy?

How do you act when you make a right decision? How do you react when you make a wrong one?

Have you ever been paralyzed "in the face" of a decision?

There have been times in my life when I have been consumed for weeks, sometimes months, over a decision I am trying to make, only to realize that it was my inability to make the decision that kept me trapped, not the actual decision itself. Once the decision was made I felt so relieved, only wishing I would have made it earlier!

The trouble is that we can’t always know when our decisions are going to turn out to be the right ones. There are going to be times we feel disappointed in our decisions, and equally there will be times we’ll be rewarded by the good ones. But just remember that the odds are …well, no longer an odd, but a guarantee to be working against you, when you stay trapped in indecision. Is this an area in your life that you want to gamble?

If not, here is a list that can help take the “in” out of indecision!

Trust yourself. Trust your judgment and your ability to make good decisions. We are all well equipped and have everything that we need.

Get honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you already know the answer, more times than not I think we do. We are just lacking the courage for the “go ahead”.

Is it realistic? Does the decision you are trying to make fit your current circumstances? Are you trying to force a square-peg into a round hole? Check back in with getting honest.

Sit on it. Sometimes it is just too tempting and we want to jump in head first! Whatever the reason-excitement, guilt, caught in the moment, too good to pass, control over-this is precisely the time to listen to the Fonz, and “sit on it”!

Ask yourself, “How will this affect my life in a week, a month, or a year?” This may offer some clarity on the importance of the decision at hand.

And then…

Make a best case and a worse case scenario list. Now ditch the best case list when you’re making your decision, because after all, we all know that things rarely work out that way! What you will be doing by taking this approach is preparing yourself for all the challenges (or hits) that are likely to come your way, making it be less likely to discourage you or throw you off track.

Now is the best time to start practicing these steps. Life guarantees that there will be a time that a decision will have to be made, and it won't afford the luxury of time. Trusting yourself and having courage may be all you’re left with!

Our God-Given's

Would you agree that we all possess qualities that are individually unique and that we each have at least one talent that just comes naturally? Have you ever wondered why you have a strong conviction for a specific cause when others may have no interest at all? Do you recognize that you have a specialized ability for something that others are incapable of doing? Often we hear these unexplained gifts referred to as our “God-given gifts”.

I think it is obvious when someone is using (living) these so called God-given’s. They typically possess a drive or enthusiasm, that can make you feel…well, down-right jealous or envious. What is it that keeps them committed, what makes them so certain that they are following the right path? What takes them the extra mile regardless of where it ends up?

I think the answer is simple, but not necessarily easy.

They trust.

They bought into it. You know how it is when you just have a feeling that there is something that you need to do, you may not want to do it, but your gut tells you that you have to do it. Sometimes you get immediate confirmation that you did the right thing, when other times it may take a while. There are even those times when we don’t receive any feed-back, possibly leaving us to guess whether or not we did the right thing.

It is simple. If you trust the messages (signs, inklings, nudges, or whatever you want to call them) from God, then know there is nothing that goes unnoticed.

But it’s not always easy. Sometimes it can be hard to have faith in knowing that you are right where you are needed and where you are suppose to be, even when it’s not necessarily where you want to be.

I believe when we are using our God-given abilities, we will find ourselves frequently in unchartered territory. We are trusted, because we have trusted. When we have the courage to do what our heart is calling on us to do, we will constantly be rewarded with yet another situation, where we’ll be faced with yet another decision.

Well…what’s it gonna be?

Who's the teacher?

Who wants to be told what to do? Is there anyone you know who wants a bunch of rules shoved down their throat? When someone barks orders at you, do you find this to be an effective way of communicating?

I’ll just go ahead and start this off by referring to myself. A sure-fire way to shut me down (and by that I really mean…tick me off), would be to think that you are going to tell me what to do. My guess is most people feel the same way to some extent, but this just really happens to be a BIG one for me! I have an example that already happened this morning, and for the unexpected individual it would go by unnoticed, but it didn’t slip by my husband! Here’s what happened. Rob says “hey, grab me a Kroger bag while you’re out there”. So of course I purposely grabbed a CVS bag. He then say’s “I thought I told you to get me a Kroger bag”, and I say “you got a CVS bag…cuz you’re not gonna tell me what to do!” We both know how goofy it is, but we also know how very real it is for me, so we make light of it when we can!

So…. knowing that most adults prefer to make their own decisions and would rather not have someone telling them what to do, how do I take this information and apply it with my children? Why would I think my children would just simply accept being told what to do, when in fact I don’t? Why would I think that focusing on all the “rules” would be an effective way of parenting, when indeed I shut down when I am not given the freedom to be…different.

The very fact that I'm asking these questions means to me that it's probably time that I show up different in my relationship with my children. How do I become a resource for them, how do I build a trust that lets them know I am safe to come to?

As a parent it is our responsibility to keep our children safe, and with that we must set boundaries and limitations. So how do we do this while allowing the freedom and independence that is also needed? I'm thinking it may be a little easier if I can keep a few things in mind.

There are just some things we must accept as parents:

· Our children will get hurt
· They are going to make poor decisions
· What’s important to us-will most likely not be important to them!
· There will be times they HATE us
· There will be times we have to make extremely hard decisions

Some important things to remember along the way:

· Our kids are unique, creative, active, and resourceful individuals (aka…exhausting!)
· They need their personal space
· They are trying to make their way the best they can
· We are setting the most important examples…the good and the bad
· Sometimes they are looking for “an excuse” to say no…gladly accept that it will be you!
· When we want to judge and react, maybe what they most need is love and acceptance
· I will need resources so I can keep being my best for them

I also realize that this list is not only a tool for becoming a better parent, but it also seems to be what we are all looking for. Once again, one of the old sayings is proving true…our children are here to teach us.

Quietly satisfied and happy

Most of my life I have battled the thought of being content. To be content was to sit around doing nothing with your life, while leaving everything to chance. I envisioned something along the lines of watching TV and eating junk food all day, while slowly becoming a recluse. (Note to reader: remember that I tend to live in the extremes of all or nothing, black or white, highs and lows!) Being content was to settle, to simply accept whatever comes your way, not taking the proper steps that are necessary in achieving your goals. My husband would often say, “You really don’t believe that good things can just happen?” Honestly, I didn't. To me that would be relying on hope and wishful thinking, and not to mention lazy, I wouldn't be in control of my life.

But lately something strange has been happening, I’m having all these crazy thoughts and feelings. Although I keep trying to fight them off, they are proving to be pretty powerful. It’s like I’m experiencing these momentary feelings of...contentment. And oddly enough, I’m really liken’ it!

I decided that I better look up the meaning of this word (I have this weird love of dictionaries, and hand held calculators also!), after all, maybe I’ve had the wrong definition stuck in my head all this time.

Quietly satisfied and happy

Call me corny, but when I read this definition it made me feel good, I felt calm and at ease, I had and a strong sense of…….

Contentment

Finding Passion

Tonight I had the opportunity to explore what passion means to me, how I define it, and how I apply it in my every day. I participated in a tele-conference The Personal Passion Project which happens to be my Brother’s “baby” in the making for 2 years now. I am proud of Brian for his commitment and follow-through in getting the project up and running. Although I feel I have to admit………my initial reason for signing on was to support my brother and be a filler. To my surprise, I immediately had great insights and felt excited to get started on the 6 week journey.

To kick it off we had a questionnaire to fill out, and right away I felt stressed. There was no one thing that came to mind that I could list as “my passion”. So I skipped around to some of the other questions hoping they would spark some insights.

What I realized is that I am not lacking passion, I actually tend to be overly passionate……so much I feel it to be detriment. I spend a lot (a lot) of time focused on what I don’t want, what I don’t agree with, and what I think should be different. I use up a ton of energy wishing I knew what to do next, wanting someone to give me the guarantees. Why oh why can’t someone just tell me exactly what to do? I guess for starters, I’d be ticked-off because I don’t like anyone trying to tell me what to do!

There ya have it, my big insight..............

I am passionate. But I’m the only one who can decide how I direct it. Positive or negative, either way it’s a choice.

So hey, check out Brian’s website @ http://www.personalpassionproject.com/. Why not be passionate about supporting others on their journey!

Ahhh Summer!

Wow, I haven't been here for a while and it brings up that-all too familiar feeling-of when you let something go for too long and you don't quite know how to pick things back up, step back in or say the right words. So I'll simply offer the truth-I've been absorbed with summer and the kids, having parties with the family, and working around the yard. We've had birthdays-lots of birthdays-from June 4th to July 5th seven of us celebrated another year, including my own 38th....Yikes! There's been father's day, anniversary parties, and the 4th of July. It has been a jammed-packed month and it was great!

I'm excited to get back to some writing, heck, next time I'll do this out by the pool!

I was just thinking........

I am always telling people that it is my belief that I was not put on this earth to work my butt off. I can go off on a rampage about how crazy it seems to me that I am sending my 9 and 11 year off to school for more hours in a week than I am willing to put in at my job. And then, as if the 37 hours they are gone isn’t enough, they come home with at least another hour of homework each night. I have a hard time stomaching the thought of sending them to school for 12 years, only to know that for most careers they will need to go on for another 2-5, just to have the possibility of even being considered for the job. It drives me bonkers when 3 out of the 4 corners have a gas station on it, or when there are competing drug stores opposite each other on the same street. Ooh-ooh, what makes me even more furious is that there are two dollar type stores within a quarter mile of each other, and at least 2 more just in my community alone!

The truth is I could fill up pages with this stuff, but something just hit me. I’m an expert at complaining. I always have a gripe about how or why I think things should be different. Without giving it a thought I could tell you what I don’t like or what I don’t stand for. Actually, this part I already knew. The part that just hit me was……….Duh, instead of spending all my time griping and complaining, why not say what it is that I do believe in and be more solution oriented. Why not replace my negativity for a positive approach?

Hmm, doing something like that would take courage. Others might not agree with me, they might criticize my ideas and call me crazy. What if they don’t understand me? Why does this sound so familiar?!

Which would you choose?

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

This is a question I have heard many times during “Basic” at Life Success Seminars, and the answer always appears to be so obvious. Perhaps because it’s my dad asking the question that I immediately what to say, Duh, who the heck wouldn’t choose happiness?! But as I attempt to use this model in my own life, the more I begin to wonder…………is this is a trick question?!

So what’s my answer you ask? I almost hate to admit it, but the majority of the time I choose to be right. Is it bad or wrong for me to take a stand for what I believe in? Is it wrong for me to be dedicated to my family and to believe in personal responsibility? Is it wrong to have a strong work ethic or think I have a right to voice my opinions and ideas while also believing that they should be heard?

The truth is, no one ever told me I was wrong to believe these things and most people might feel the same way. And actually, I do know that I am right to take a stand for these things, but where I am wrong is that I assume the same applies to you. I have decided that what I believe to be true should also hold true for you and what I think is right-would also be right for you. I thought the things that are important to me must certainly be the same for you, and what is fair to me-applies the same for you. I am fighting for what I think is right all the while overlooking the possibility that you may have your own set of rules! And, I’m fighting for beliefs that once held true for me but now I come to find out, they just don’t apply anymore. And darn it, I’m not happy!

So what am I learning?

There is no fight. There is nobody calling me on the phone or knocking at my door ready to challenge me in rearguards to my beliefs. I tend to do this “broad picture” way of thinking which keeps my feelings at an arms-length. But as I started to crop my picture I realized, hey look-I can see my family and friends. All of a sudden it was personal.

And

It’s just not good enough for me to be happy. I want to be surrounded by happy people. You don’t have to be wrong in order for me to be right. Let me rephrase that, I don’t need to argue with you and try to prove that you’re wrong just because I believe something different.

Geesh, I’m almost 38 years old and it strikes me odd that I have never hit an age where I had the feeling that “I’ve grown up”. Does this ever apply? Then again, would I even want it to apply?!

Too much time on my hands

Is it any wonder, I’ve got too much (clap, clap) time on my hands
and it’s ticking away at my sanity
I’ve got too much (clap, clap) time on my hands
it’s hard to believe such a calamity
I’ve got too much time on my hands
and it’s ticking away-ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands T-T-T-T-T-T-T too much time on my hands

How in the heck did Styx know back in 1981 that the lyrics to this song would have such significant relevance to my life in 2010? Well, actually I’m no jet-fuel genius…………whatever that is, and I can’t solve all the world problems without even thinking, but, I am beginning to wonder if I’ve got too much (clap, clap) time on my hands? Sorry, the tune is so catchy that I just can’t seem stop myself from doing that. And it would be such a calamity if the loooong days I’ve endured in order to have a 3 day work week was all done in vein! After all, I have fought for this time-I’ve suffered for this time, only to come to this?

So now what am I suppose to do?

That darn question is what got me here in the first place. What am I suppose to do? I have been working so hard trying to figure out where I’m going and what I am suppose to be doing, that I have lost sight of the here and now. Maybe its age, but all of a sudden those darn "life clichés" seem relevant, and I actually catch myself saying them! Geesh, I do only have today. How many Monday’s have I lost because I was so focused on what was going to happen Tuesday. But when Tuesday came along, I realized that wasn’t it, why didn't I see the obvious? It wasn’t about Tuesday, so it clearly must be about Wednesday. And so on and so on and so on……

This is very new for me, it will take practice and commitment to not get ahead of myself and stay in the present. Tomorrow I start with no expectations of what I “should” do and just enjoy whatever it is that happens. I have to admit, I am curious to see if my day will feel any different. I'll let ya know!

Drama Queen

The verdict’s in. Unless anyone comes forth with additional information or any new evidence stating otherwise, we can now put this case to rest. Its official, my daughter Emma is guilty of being a drama queen! Now of course being one of her parents, I already knew this to be true, but now her friends have stuck her with this label.

Of the many challenges that I have faced so far during parenthood, I think this has to be one of the hardest. I want what any parent wants, to see my kids to grow to be healthy, happy, creative, caring and compassionate individuals. To be confident in themselves and know that it’s ok to have an opinion that may be different than others. But there’s this other thing too, and if I’m being honest, it’s what I want even more badly. I want them to fit in, I want them to be liked and have friends, to have someone to sit with at lunch and on the bus, to have kids who want to play with them at recess, to be picked for a team and not be last, I want them to actually want to go to school every day. Is it too much to ask for all these things?

Of course not! You’re not crazy to want all these things for your kids, but you are crazy if you believe they will all happen! Oh come on, you really didn’t believe you would be the exception, did you? Oh sorry, I wasn’t talking you, I was talking to me. Yeah, I did think I would be the exception, but maybe you did too!

So in some weird sort of way, Emma being a drama queen is proof that I have raised my children to believe these things to be true about themselves. But even kids aren’t exempt from ridicule and judgment. They soon learn that being different and not going with the flow can lead to name calling and bullying. As much as I want to protect her from all these things, I know that if I did, I would be robbing her of all the valuable lessons and opportunities that are coming her way.

I don’t have the words to describe how it felt when she came to me last night and thanked me for suggesting that she apologize to her friend. She was genuinely grateful. First off, I was shocked that she was even listening when we talked. Second, I can’t believe she actually took my advice. She apologized, even though she didn’t think she was wrong. WOW, I love that girl!

And just to set the record straight, Emma is really only a Drama Princess. I am the real Drama Queen in this house!

Hooked on a Feelin'

I have been attempting to give this blog thing a shot. I love to write, I have many ideas, and I have difficulty keeping my opinions to myself! So why am I having such a hard time getting this done?

Something I have been told before is that I am someone who is “hooked on a feelin”. Those who know me are aware that I am on this never ending quest to figure out what the heck it is that I think I should be doing with my life. This may include anything from my potential business ventures, inventions I have come up, my ideas for workshops and programs, my ideas for your workshops and programs, the books I’m writing, or catchy titles-that just need a book to go with. The truth is, I’ve been hell-bent on trying to figure out what my purpose is, so I can take the plunge and start living it!

So why’s it taking so long?!

Well, I think it’s because I’m hooked on a feeling, a feeling of what I think it should look like or be. A lot of my ideas revolve around family, independence, creativity, freedom, flexibility, and having my voice. But as I started exploring, I found that most of the things I thought I wanted came with a hefty price tag. An example:

I am a hairdresser and had dreams of opening a salon of my own. After a year of being patient (a first for me), doing my homework, running the numbers, and then running the numbers some more, I found that it just wasn’t going to work. Oh God I wanted it to, but it just wasn’t happenin’! I realized that I was trying to force something that was not meant to be. But through the experience, I did come to realize that I make an exceptional income working three days a week. Owning a salon would require working (a lot) more hours and I would be lucky to make a fraction of my existing pay. Not to mention, who’s going to run the shop while I have the freedom to do whatever it is I think I would be doing?! It was a path heading opposite of what my values are and what is important to me. Instead I found a place closer to home that offered all the things I was looking for……..what a blessing!

So to me this all ties in to the same reason that I have not been writing. I have been converting a room in my house into my office, my retreat, a beautifully decorated room that makes me feel good when I am in it. A place I can hang out, it will be my haven where I will aspire to become a world-renowned writer…………NOT! Well, the latter part would be wonderful, but I would be most happy sitting at the table or island in the kitchen, which is where I am right now! It was all about the set up, I was creating the perfect environment and THEN everything would fall into place. I was trying to satisfy the feeling around what I want, instead of just going ahead and doing it. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, but this time it was keeping me from what I want to be doing.

Before writing this I called my husband to let him know that my future office is going to look really good as an extra bedroom, and he said “it already did before you started this!” And so I decided to sit in the kitchen and write a blog about it!

Comfort.....at what cost?

Lately I notice how much I’m being tested on my efforts to slow down. It’s funny how this works-it seems that when I make a decision the universe throws me a challenge, testing my dedication to the changes that are under way.

Or.....perhaps the universe is always throwing out the challenges, but my busyness keeps me distracted from seeing them. Or second-zies on perhaps, I’m aware that it’s constantly happening, but it’s just easier to keep doing things the way I always do them. Change is uncomfortable, and I am uncomfortable with being uncomfortable!

How long will I continue paying the price for a moment of comfort?

Kids & Social Media

For months my daughter has been begging for a Face book account. I personally have an account and I’m even friends with some of her friends. If the girls were having a sleepover or if something was going on, I would post little comments on their wall. I always found it entertaining to hear their comments.

So, if you have children or once were a kid, then you know the routine! After countless days of whining, begging, and storming off to her bedroom, I finally caved. I gave in to the idea of my daughter having a FB account. After all, I was friends with her friends and have never come across anything that seemed harmful. As we were setting up her account I made sure to go over safety and what our rules were, as well as what she was to do if any of the scenarios discussed were to ever happen. And so the fun began! She loved being connected so easily with her friends and family, and I also enjoyed her being on there.

It only takes one....

Come to find out, someone had apparently hacked into one of her friends accounts and was posting and chatting in a very inappropriate manner. Although it took a few days for us to find out what happened, we commend her for the courage it took to come forward with the information.

What to do from here?

Well, first of all, I need to be responsible for what I did. I allowed her to be a part of something that is intended for adults. I was naïve. I should have known better than to put her in this situation. Why didn’t I see the warning flags while I was explaining all the possibilities of what could happen?

I’m still left sitting on fact that technology is the “here and now”, and whether I like it or not, social media is not going anywhere. Access and information are readily available at the push of a button, and heck, even I find it rather convenient.

Reality check

My daughter knows way more than I do, and I’ve kind of had my head in the sand when it comes to learning this stuff. I certainly have come a long way, but I am realizing that there’s never a break when it comes to the safety of my children. It is necessary to stay involved and up-to-date as there’s always something (or someone) new around the corner.

Time to get with it!

Checking In

Just thought I’d check in with a post, updating you on my efforts to slow down. Well actually, let’s get honest here. I’m bored out of my mind! My efforts to slow down have been so successful, I have been left with too much time on my hands! As tempting as it has been to fill in the blanks, I know that following though with my commitment is much too important.

So, you want to know what I’m doing with all this free time. Well…….

For starters I have been enjoying the streak of good weather we’ve been having. I’m taking daily walks with my dog Abby. She gets to burn off some energy from being stuck in the house and I get to burn some energy from being stuck in my head, win-win!

I have also been filling in the blanks with writing. About a year ago I found it to be something I really enjoyed. Not only is it a much needed creative outlet, but it also gives me the opportunity to empty some of the brain!

Well, it’s time for me to get moving here before I spoil myself silly with all this “me” time (or possible drive myself bonkers)! Could it be possible that I’m actually looking forward to some chores around the house………….Naaaaa!

Makin' a list...

Now if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s make me a good list. I have a list for just about everything and anything. From the typical lists like the break-down of paying bills, what to buy at the grocery store, to who needs to be where and at what time. Or maybe it’s a list of goals, writing the pros and cons of something, or a list of the changes I’d like to see done with the house (the honey-do list). And ohhh, not to forget one of my favorites soon to come, making a list of what I’d love to plant in my flowerbeds this spring. So with this being said, it only seems reasonable that if I am going to figure out how to slow down, I’d first start with a list of what is important to me. Not only making a new one, but also taking into consideration some of my old ones.

Starting with the obvious (for me):

1. My list was old. I hadn’t taken the time to re-evaluate why the priority was set in the first place. For example, my husband and I chose to work schedules opposite each other so one of us would always be home with the babies. Well, the babies are now 9 and 11 and we are still working the same schedule. When Rob and the kids are home, I’m working. This is one of the things I’ll be taking a closer look at.

2. The list sounded good. I make lists that sure do sound good, and they are.….....on paper! But in order for us to achieve them there is a lot of suffering that takes place. They are not always realistic. Now this would be the type of list that pertains to money. Once I make a decision, we all gonna pay the price! I’m setting financial goals that are too big, leaving us no room, or money, for enjoyment.

3. Making cuts. This is where it starts to get challenging. How do I make cuts when most of what I am doing I enjoy doing, as well as need to do? I once read a quote, “say no to the good so you can say yes to the great” and boy do I feel like there are a lot of good things going on around me. I guess this would be a good time to get picky!

For the most part, this starts to cover some of the most important area's of my life. Family is number one, that’s all there is to it. My beliefs around money had to be in there, because I have a good deal of stress is related to it. And then, just how valuable is my time? I actually had some great opportunities to say "no" this week, and wouldn't ya know it, the world didn't come to an end!

Thanks for reading!

Breathe

Lately I have been noticing that I am overwhelmed. It’s like I catch myself not breathing and I don’t even realize that my body is under stress, when I’m really not doing much of anything! Well, I am doing something, but not anything that I would expect to make me feel this way. I notice it most when I am doing things like packing lunches, unloading the dishwasher, getting ready for work, needing to exercise, folding laundry, helping the kids get ready for school……..grrrr, cooking and cleaning, wiping the dogs paws, or filling my gas tank (when I get gas I always make of point of letting my husband know, truly expecting him to say “Wow Julie, great job, I am sooo proud of you. I know that putting gas in your car is such a chore, why don’t you let me take care of that for now on!") Well, truth be told, my husband does more on that list than I do. This is probably one of those times I should have kept quite!

Now this list that I just blurted out kind of sounds like a pity party, and maybe it is…..just a little. But hey, this is why I am doing this blog, to get the junk out. But also there is a point I am trying to get to, and that point is……I AM TOO BUSY! Most my days are scheduled from start to finish. In addition to my part time job as a hairdresser, I also have a full time job just keeping busy! For years I have been saying that this is going to change, but the only thing that has changed is that I have taken on even more without letting anything go!

So I am thinking that now is the time to slow down. I am out of balance and want my actions to line up with what I say my priorities are…...I think. Actually, my priorities might need a little tweaking as well. I am not sure how this will work, but I will start with the obvious…….not doing it the way I have in the past! This is going to take creativity and commitment. The reality is that most of the things on my list will not go away and are necessary. Things I actually enjoy, but could do differently. The other reality is, slowing down doesn’t only refer to my “activities” because most of my busyness takes place in my head. And being the big picture person that I am, I do struggle with taking first steps (shoot, there’s another one of my commitments for this year).

Baby step: making a list of what is most important for me and my family.

Get Walkin'

This month I have been writing about the values of justice, fairness, equality and honor. It was a message that I had received several times, and so I figured, let’s go with it! I also thought, oohh, this will be good one, just perfect for me as I am a person who lives for fairness. I always want things to be fair, at work, with my family, and as a citizen. But what I have come to realize through my writing (my unposted copies of course, because I certainly wouldn’t want you to know these truths about me!) is that I am really just doing a bunch of complaining!

Never would I have imagined the impact this statement would have on me. Through this writing experience, which is really just journaling my thoughts, I have come to find that I frequently have a one-sided (my-sided) view. The truth is I have a lot of people listening to what I have to say. They ask for my opinions and insights and they enjoy talking with me. I have many times heard “why don’t you ask Julie when you go to see her”. They are putting their trust in me. So this is the spot where I must ask myself, what is the impression that I’d like to leave? What type of influence will I choose to be? Shall I continue to waste my time (and yours) complaining? Or is it time to start walkin' the walk, rather than telling you how it is that I think others should be walking!

A fair Trial

In the closing of my previous post, I was going to take a few days to observe how justice vs. revenge plays out in my life. Admittedly, I was very uncomfortable with the word revenge. The more I thought about what I wrote, the more I tried to come up with another way of putting it, a way that didn’t sound so harsh(really, I wanted to go back and delete the entire thing!). They were just getting what they deserved. I’ll show them. We’ll see what happens!

I find myself in situations where I feel that I am not getting the attention that I think I deserve or that I once had. And what do I offer in return………the cold shoulder. I am not making the phone calls. I don’t offer invites the way I use to. I don’t need your help. I’ll do it on my own.

It sounds a little like I am seeking what I thought was justice for myself, just taking care of myself. But when I flip it around-it sure sounds like revenge for the other person. My feelings were hurt, I’ll show them. What I consider being self-sufficient and responsible is really just my way of shutting them out.

I consider myself to be a reasonable person (one of the words used in defining justice), so I charge myself, guilty……of injustice. But, also now more aware that justice is not a one-sided deal. I guess it's time for a fair trial!

Seeking justice

I recently came across something that said to teach others about the values of justice, fairness, equality and honor. I have to admit this statement is a little tricky since I can only come from what I think and feel. And if you read my last post, you know the meaning of values simply put, is what I believe to be most important. There is no set-in-stone answer here. Although I do believe we all share a very similar value system, the difference may be our individual order of importance. And personally speaking, that order changes as I enter into new and different stages of my life.

Of the words listed, there is one that really jumps out at me, one that kind of gets me stirred up. But since there may be some importance in the order, I will start at the beginning with justice.
-Fair and impartial behavior or treatment
-Fairness or reasonableness, especially in the way people are treated or decisions are made

Now of course there are more definitions depending on the context of use, but I thought these followed in suit with the other words.

I guess when I think of justice, it looks a little more like this: An arm in the air or a fist on the table, followed by “justice will be served or justice will prevail”! It just doesn’t sound as dramatic to say, ”fairness will be served or I will deal with you with impartial behavior or justice will win over because we are reasonable”!

When I think of justice being served, it is that someone is going to pay the price for what they have done, like a punishment. In a court of law we have a process, an attempt at fair and impartial treatment. But how often in our ever day lives do we take the time to stop and look at the facts, consider where the other person was coming from or that maybe they just made a bad decision. How often are we seeking revenge………….oh, I mean justice. And to make it even more challenging for myself, how often am I seeking rrrrreeeee, oohhhh, I just can’t say it.

I am going to think on this one a bit more. Actually I am going to see how I play it out over the next few days, and get back with you!

What's behind the meaning?

I am someone who is frequently looking up the meaning of words. I tend to use an actual book instead of the dictionary right here on my computer! There is something that I love about holding a book, paging through it, marking it, cross-referencing or just picking random pages and reading the words on it. As corny as it may sound, I just love my books!

A lot of times I am looking up words that I commonly use. They are words that flow naturally, without a bat of the eye or a second thought. But yet, I feel I have lost sight of their true meanings. Or maybe it’s that I say a word, and it just doesn’t sound right. Then I say it again, and it sounds even stranger. Then I say it so many times that it makes absolutely no sense, leaving me to question whether it’s even a word!

So, you guessed it, I’m starting out by looking up a few words and their meanings. Then I’ll write about how I/we interpret the meaning and what impact does it make on our lives.

Starting with values, here are some of the key words/points that I found: Worth, importance or usefulness of something or somebody, the standards of a person or group, to regard something highly. I also like to use the children’s dictionary because the definitions are easily interpreted and straight to the point! Here is what I found there: Peoples values are their beliefs and ideas about what is most important in their life. Now that pretty well sums it up! It is what I believe to be most important, in my life! Interesting, this sounds as if it could be different for us all.