“Hey Julie, do you want to meet for lunch?
I’d really love to, but work is so busy. I just can’t get away right now.”
“Hey Mom, can you come outside and play with us?
Not right now, I’m busy. I’ve got all this stuff I have to get done.”
“I hope the family can make it to the party this weekend.
I’m so sorry, the kids have games and there are projects around the house that need attention. We’re just too busy right now, but let’s schedule something when things slow down”
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is there something in your life that dominates the majority or your time?
Over the past couple of years I have been trying to take the “busy” out of my schedule. At first, I really didn’t think it was possible, believing that everything I did was necessary. But what I found was that being busy is a choice, and a lot of what I was busy with really didn’t serve me.
I think it is important for us to recognize the reasons that we are busy if we really want to slow down and start getting to what’s most important, to become responsible for the quality of our life (another choice). The reality is that a good portion of what we do is necessary, it enables us to be available and to provide for our families, but on the other hand, a lot of what we do is just “time-fillers” and nonsense.
When we are so busy, it’s a clear sign that we are out of balance. So, just what is it that keeps us so busy? This list may provide some insights or even a new perspective on busy, you may even find that keeping busy may be something more than just work, family, and the normal run-arounds.
Our jobs demand a lot from us. It seems with the drop in the economy employers are making cuts, downsizing, and merging positions together. Our already demanding jobs seem to be getting increasingly…more demanding. Creating balance in this situation may take some creative strategizing. Is it possible to delegate some of your work load or could you go in an hour earlier so you can get home an hour earlier? Perhaps it’s time to update your resume and put some feelers out. And you never know, after investigating what’s available, you may find that right where you are isn’t so bad after all!
We don’t know how to say NO. Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? Do you over volunteer yourself? Are there so many things that excite you, and you take them on all at once. I once read “say no to the good, so you can say yes to the great”. Wow, what a powerful statement. And let’s not forget, when we say yes when we real want to say no, it is a sure way to set ourselves up for burn-out, to become angry and resentful, and could lead to us avoiding friends or family because of it. We may even blame them, when all along it was out inability to say no that got us there in the first place
Is it an excuse? Is there something you really don’t want to do, but you don’t have the courage to say no, so you claim “I’m busy”. At the time it may appear that being busy is an easy way out…but only until the offer presents itself again! Be honest, communicate what you need. Maybe it’s more important to stay home on Sunday to spend time with your family…who wouldn’t respect that!
We are avoiding something.Things aren’t going so good at home, so you work extra hours just to stay away longer. There is something you are hiding from your family or friends so you stay busy so they won’t find out what it is. You may think others aren’t aware…but most often they know that something’s up.
The truth is, at times I can be quite the master of busy, so this list could go on forever if I’d let it! But what I’ve realized is the more I practice and the more I remind myself of my commitment to slow down, the more I have time to do what’s most important to me. My husband has even said that he is jealous of my ability to “do nothing” sometimes…there may have been some underlying message in there, but I chose not to pick up on it!!
What can we do to start making changes?
First start by being honest with yourself, make a list of all your daily activities, and then question why you do them. Again, some are absolutely necessary, but what are the ones that aren’t? This would be a great time to do some journaling and reflect on what changes you would like to make.
And then replace busy for balance.
You could start by looking at 3 or 4 of the most important areas in your life and determine how much of your time you are currently devoting to each. Then start tweaking. If an area has been neglected- schedule something in. But the key here is not just adding into your already busy schedule, but to also find area’s where you need to make some cuts. Nothing is set in stone. You can always try something new if it’s not working out the way you planned.
And just remember how easy it is to fall back into old, comfortable habits, even when they're not what we want. This will take commitment, it may even feel like you are making sacrifices. And your old ways may be tempting because they are the easier choice at first, but be patient with yourself and do the best you can. I promise, if this is important, you will be greatly rewarded!
Who needs our attention right now, but may feel as if we have turned our backs on them because we are too busy? How many great opportunities have gone unnoticed because we didn’t have the time to slow down and take notice?
In the end, would you rather be remembered for all the tasks you have completed, or the quality of life you lived and the relationships that you’ve developed?
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