Hooked on a Feelin'

I have been attempting to give this blog thing a shot. I love to write, I have many ideas, and I have difficulty keeping my opinions to myself! So why am I having such a hard time getting this done?

Something I have been told before is that I am someone who is “hooked on a feelin”. Those who know me are aware that I am on this never ending quest to figure out what the heck it is that I think I should be doing with my life. This may include anything from my potential business ventures, inventions I have come up, my ideas for workshops and programs, my ideas for your workshops and programs, the books I’m writing, or catchy titles-that just need a book to go with. The truth is, I’ve been hell-bent on trying to figure out what my purpose is, so I can take the plunge and start living it!

So why’s it taking so long?!

Well, I think it’s because I’m hooked on a feeling, a feeling of what I think it should look like or be. A lot of my ideas revolve around family, independence, creativity, freedom, flexibility, and having my voice. But as I started exploring, I found that most of the things I thought I wanted came with a hefty price tag. An example:

I am a hairdresser and had dreams of opening a salon of my own. After a year of being patient (a first for me), doing my homework, running the numbers, and then running the numbers some more, I found that it just wasn’t going to work. Oh God I wanted it to, but it just wasn’t happenin’! I realized that I was trying to force something that was not meant to be. But through the experience, I did come to realize that I make an exceptional income working three days a week. Owning a salon would require working (a lot) more hours and I would be lucky to make a fraction of my existing pay. Not to mention, who’s going to run the shop while I have the freedom to do whatever it is I think I would be doing?! It was a path heading opposite of what my values are and what is important to me. Instead I found a place closer to home that offered all the things I was looking for……..what a blessing!

So to me this all ties in to the same reason that I have not been writing. I have been converting a room in my house into my office, my retreat, a beautifully decorated room that makes me feel good when I am in it. A place I can hang out, it will be my haven where I will aspire to become a world-renowned writer…………NOT! Well, the latter part would be wonderful, but I would be most happy sitting at the table or island in the kitchen, which is where I am right now! It was all about the set up, I was creating the perfect environment and THEN everything would fall into place. I was trying to satisfy the feeling around what I want, instead of just going ahead and doing it. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, but this time it was keeping me from what I want to be doing.

Before writing this I called my husband to let him know that my future office is going to look really good as an extra bedroom, and he said “it already did before you started this!” And so I decided to sit in the kitchen and write a blog about it!