Which would you choose?

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

This is a question I have heard many times during “Basic” at Life Success Seminars, and the answer always appears to be so obvious. Perhaps because it’s my dad asking the question that I immediately what to say, Duh, who the heck wouldn’t choose happiness?! But as I attempt to use this model in my own life, the more I begin to wonder…………is this is a trick question?!

So what’s my answer you ask? I almost hate to admit it, but the majority of the time I choose to be right. Is it bad or wrong for me to take a stand for what I believe in? Is it wrong for me to be dedicated to my family and to believe in personal responsibility? Is it wrong to have a strong work ethic or think I have a right to voice my opinions and ideas while also believing that they should be heard?

The truth is, no one ever told me I was wrong to believe these things and most people might feel the same way. And actually, I do know that I am right to take a stand for these things, but where I am wrong is that I assume the same applies to you. I have decided that what I believe to be true should also hold true for you and what I think is right-would also be right for you. I thought the things that are important to me must certainly be the same for you, and what is fair to me-applies the same for you. I am fighting for what I think is right all the while overlooking the possibility that you may have your own set of rules! And, I’m fighting for beliefs that once held true for me but now I come to find out, they just don’t apply anymore. And darn it, I’m not happy!

So what am I learning?

There is no fight. There is nobody calling me on the phone or knocking at my door ready to challenge me in rearguards to my beliefs. I tend to do this “broad picture” way of thinking which keeps my feelings at an arms-length. But as I started to crop my picture I realized, hey look-I can see my family and friends. All of a sudden it was personal.

And

It’s just not good enough for me to be happy. I want to be surrounded by happy people. You don’t have to be wrong in order for me to be right. Let me rephrase that, I don’t need to argue with you and try to prove that you’re wrong just because I believe something different.

Geesh, I’m almost 38 years old and it strikes me odd that I have never hit an age where I had the feeling that “I’ve grown up”. Does this ever apply? Then again, would I even want it to apply?!