Decisions, decisions...

If big decisions are difficult to make, would we assume that the little ones are easy?

How do you act when you make a right decision? How do you react when you make a wrong one?

Have you ever been paralyzed "in the face" of a decision?

There have been times in my life when I have been consumed for weeks, sometimes months, over a decision I am trying to make, only to realize that it was my inability to make the decision that kept me trapped, not the actual decision itself. Once the decision was made I felt so relieved, only wishing I would have made it earlier!

The trouble is that we can’t always know when our decisions are going to turn out to be the right ones. There are going to be times we feel disappointed in our decisions, and equally there will be times we’ll be rewarded by the good ones. But just remember that the odds are …well, no longer an odd, but a guarantee to be working against you, when you stay trapped in indecision. Is this an area in your life that you want to gamble?

If not, here is a list that can help take the “in” out of indecision!

Trust yourself. Trust your judgment and your ability to make good decisions. We are all well equipped and have everything that we need.

Get honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you already know the answer, more times than not I think we do. We are just lacking the courage for the “go ahead”.

Is it realistic? Does the decision you are trying to make fit your current circumstances? Are you trying to force a square-peg into a round hole? Check back in with getting honest.

Sit on it. Sometimes it is just too tempting and we want to jump in head first! Whatever the reason-excitement, guilt, caught in the moment, too good to pass, control over-this is precisely the time to listen to the Fonz, and “sit on it”!

Ask yourself, “How will this affect my life in a week, a month, or a year?” This may offer some clarity on the importance of the decision at hand.

And then…

Make a best case and a worse case scenario list. Now ditch the best case list when you’re making your decision, because after all, we all know that things rarely work out that way! What you will be doing by taking this approach is preparing yourself for all the challenges (or hits) that are likely to come your way, making it be less likely to discourage you or throw you off track.

Now is the best time to start practicing these steps. Life guarantees that there will be a time that a decision will have to be made, and it won't afford the luxury of time. Trusting yourself and having courage may be all you’re left with!

Our God-Given's

Would you agree that we all possess qualities that are individually unique and that we each have at least one talent that just comes naturally? Have you ever wondered why you have a strong conviction for a specific cause when others may have no interest at all? Do you recognize that you have a specialized ability for something that others are incapable of doing? Often we hear these unexplained gifts referred to as our “God-given gifts”.

I think it is obvious when someone is using (living) these so called God-given’s. They typically possess a drive or enthusiasm, that can make you feel…well, down-right jealous or envious. What is it that keeps them committed, what makes them so certain that they are following the right path? What takes them the extra mile regardless of where it ends up?

I think the answer is simple, but not necessarily easy.

They trust.

They bought into it. You know how it is when you just have a feeling that there is something that you need to do, you may not want to do it, but your gut tells you that you have to do it. Sometimes you get immediate confirmation that you did the right thing, when other times it may take a while. There are even those times when we don’t receive any feed-back, possibly leaving us to guess whether or not we did the right thing.

It is simple. If you trust the messages (signs, inklings, nudges, or whatever you want to call them) from God, then know there is nothing that goes unnoticed.

But it’s not always easy. Sometimes it can be hard to have faith in knowing that you are right where you are needed and where you are suppose to be, even when it’s not necessarily where you want to be.

I believe when we are using our God-given abilities, we will find ourselves frequently in unchartered territory. We are trusted, because we have trusted. When we have the courage to do what our heart is calling on us to do, we will constantly be rewarded with yet another situation, where we’ll be faced with yet another decision.

Well…what’s it gonna be?

Who's the teacher?

Who wants to be told what to do? Is there anyone you know who wants a bunch of rules shoved down their throat? When someone barks orders at you, do you find this to be an effective way of communicating?

I’ll just go ahead and start this off by referring to myself. A sure-fire way to shut me down (and by that I really mean…tick me off), would be to think that you are going to tell me what to do. My guess is most people feel the same way to some extent, but this just really happens to be a BIG one for me! I have an example that already happened this morning, and for the unexpected individual it would go by unnoticed, but it didn’t slip by my husband! Here’s what happened. Rob says “hey, grab me a Kroger bag while you’re out there”. So of course I purposely grabbed a CVS bag. He then say’s “I thought I told you to get me a Kroger bag”, and I say “you got a CVS bag…cuz you’re not gonna tell me what to do!” We both know how goofy it is, but we also know how very real it is for me, so we make light of it when we can!

So…. knowing that most adults prefer to make their own decisions and would rather not have someone telling them what to do, how do I take this information and apply it with my children? Why would I think my children would just simply accept being told what to do, when in fact I don’t? Why would I think that focusing on all the “rules” would be an effective way of parenting, when indeed I shut down when I am not given the freedom to be…different.

The very fact that I'm asking these questions means to me that it's probably time that I show up different in my relationship with my children. How do I become a resource for them, how do I build a trust that lets them know I am safe to come to?

As a parent it is our responsibility to keep our children safe, and with that we must set boundaries and limitations. So how do we do this while allowing the freedom and independence that is also needed? I'm thinking it may be a little easier if I can keep a few things in mind.

There are just some things we must accept as parents:

· Our children will get hurt
· They are going to make poor decisions
· What’s important to us-will most likely not be important to them!
· There will be times they HATE us
· There will be times we have to make extremely hard decisions

Some important things to remember along the way:

· Our kids are unique, creative, active, and resourceful individuals (aka…exhausting!)
· They need their personal space
· They are trying to make their way the best they can
· We are setting the most important examples…the good and the bad
· Sometimes they are looking for “an excuse” to say no…gladly accept that it will be you!
· When we want to judge and react, maybe what they most need is love and acceptance
· I will need resources so I can keep being my best for them

I also realize that this list is not only a tool for becoming a better parent, but it also seems to be what we are all looking for. Once again, one of the old sayings is proving true…our children are here to teach us.